The key to Happiness...

Almost everyone wants to find happiness… it can be pretty exhausting and every day you can find so many people who are just swamped by misery and depression and some allow themselves to just sink in further, thinking happiness is just elusive.. These people think they've tried everything and happiness still escapes them.

I can see dead people.. err.. ok.. I mean I can see so many sad and depressed people, some people are just so full of anger, some of these people are so full of misery and some are so

full of themselves… errr… hahahah…..and they are not happy people, despite some pretending to be…

I agree, happiness can seem kinda hard to achieve but in reality.. I think it doesn't have to be that complicated…

Personally I had my fair share of wallowing in the depths of depression, misery and sadness... I used to question my existence and self hurt myself. In some of my darkest moments, I have banged my own head against the wall, strangled myself  until I passed out, scratched my wrists and legs with scissors and all, bit myself until my arm or knee turned purple...  being an only child of divorced parents, I had no one to turn to..

I bet many of you did not know this.. I was a victim of many things... in my entire life.. and I messed up part of my younger life, almost got caught up in criminal activities as well, thanks to falling in love and being in a relationship with someone wrong, but fortunately I manage to extract myself from all that..

Nowadays, I choose to live a simple life, doing the things that I enjoy and keeping the peace in my family...and avoid conflicts... indulge myself wherever I can. Call me selfish if you like, but well, I choose to live each day one day at a time, and I try to keep myself busy and be happy .. and you know what..  I am reasonably happy.. I might not be euphoric or dancing for joy everyday but there are moments I find myself close to it...

And I like nothing better then to let my inner child out a lot... be childish, act as a kid... me, I am always 18... ask my kids... they will roll their eyes but they know me, I might grow old but I never grow up...

And in the process, I find that happiness is actually not that hard to acquire...

You should know as humans we all have core instincts and one of most important of those is the need to look for something more…

That "something more" is something we're seeking on an emotional level. Our primary driving force as humans is to ensure our physical needs are met. We need food, water, and shelter to survive.    Then there is the need for approval, which had been instilled in us since early childhood. We seek the approval of parents, teachers, community leaders, and elders. Later, we seek the approval of a potential spouse, a boss, our friends and neighbors and this could be where problems begin …

Why? Because, all the chasing we do as adults – chasing money, chasing the career, chasing an elusive lifestyle - is just actually driven by our need for the approval of our peers.

The real key to happiness is in realizing that attaining any or all of those things we think we really, really want is not the thing that can make us happy.

The so called elusive key to happiness actually lies in your enjoyment of whatever you do.

So learn a new language or skill. Strive to build your intelligence and exercise your brain. Explore new countries and regions; make it a goal to learn more about the world around you. Challenge yourself!

Happiness is an inside job, is a product of our minds and we need to work on our happiness every day.

Another key to happiness is to realize and understand that we are in charge of our happiness. Read aloud – ‘Only I can make me happy!’

Happiness starts with you. Not with your relationships, not with your job, not with your money, but with you.

I use to think being in a relationship can make me happy but no, actually being in a relationship can be even harder than being on your own so you single people out there should really appreciate your singlehood… being in a relationship makes you always think of trying to make the other person happy.. and sometimes at the cost of your own happiness, especially when you have to put up with their nonsense, tempers, bad mood etc.. it can really drain you of your own energy…

Don’t get me wrong, I am not against relationships… having people around you is also good.. and there are also many plus points if you have the right people around you, but they are NOT the key to your happiness… and neither is your high ranking job or your money if you do not let happiness starts with you…

The third key to happiness is to accept that happiness is a choice. It is our choice to be happy no matter what life presents to us. Happiness is a way of living.

Happy people might not have the best of everything , but they choose to make the best of everything.

Happiness is an attitude of mind, happy people focus on whatever they have, unhappy people focus on what’s not there.

Happiness is also a mental state of well-being created by positive and good emotions.

“Happiness, true happiness, is an inner quality. It is a state of mind. If your mind is at peace, you are happy. If your mind is at peace, but you have nothing else, you can be happy. If you have everything the world can give – pleasure, possessions, power – but lack peace of mind, you can never be happy.” Dada Vaswani

Another important key to our happiness would be gratitude. Gratitude is the key to happiness.

We need to be content and happy with what we have while working for what we want.

It’s not happiness that brings us gratitude, but it’s gratitude that brings us happiness. That is why it is important to give thanks and be grateful for all the little things in life…. Bersyukurlah….

Love is a must have ingredient in our life if we want to be happy but its just not about people loving you… the most important love is to love ourselves, because when you learn to love yourself, you will then feel good about who you are. Your own acceptance of yourself is more important then anyone’s acceptance of you..

Personally for me, I have learned not to give a shit as to what people think of me… or say about me, be it good or bad… or at least not to let it bother me as face it, whatever we do in life, some one out there might be praising you for it, but another person might be cursing or criticizing you for it… what matters most is our own acceptance of ourselves, and no one else, let all the other people out there have their own opinions, face it, we also have our own positive and negative opinions of other people…

And well, as our body and mind are connected, it is good to keep our body active as it is also what that can make us happier as well as being good for our physical health. Being active improves our mood and can even lift us out of a depression. I am not telling you to run marathons, but well, there are simple things we can all do to be more active each day. And we can also boost our well-being by unplugging from technology, getting outside to go for a walk in the park or window shopping and - importantly - making sure we get enough sleep!

Contentment is all about being okay with where you’re at and not wanting everything you don’t have. There is no way you can be happy if you keep thinking about everything that’s not right or perfect in your life.

For me, the key to happiness and contentment is learning to appreciate the little things that I have, and being okay with where I’m at in life. For me, I have learn and am still learning to accept life for what it is. Sometimes, for me, as a blogger, the best times in life can also be the experiences ...

Yes, yes, I do not deny, it is easier said than done some days but it’s a process, it’s not about doing it perfectly… but it is all about making the best of what you have… and that is why you can see some of the richest people in the world are still just so miserable, and some of the poorest people in the slums can have a happy life…. What matters most is that we should enjoy the pursuit to happiness, as it just might be your greatest source of happiness.

Come join me on the pursuit of happiness and try to practise what I am sharing here... because it works for me... and I am still on my pursuit for more happiness... heheheh

And I end this leaving you all some of my favourite quotes.....one for every day of the month, if you like... it is also a reminder to myself.....

“Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln

“Being happy doesn’t mean everything is perfect. It means you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.”

“Life will bring you pain all by itself. Your responsibility is to create joy.” Milton Erickson

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” Mark Twain

“Don’t rely on someone else for your happiness and self-worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can’t love and respect yourself – no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are – completely; the good and the bad – and make changes as YOU see fit – not because you think someone else wants you to be different.” Stacey Charter

“It isn’t what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about.”  Dale Carnegie

“There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.” Epictetus

“We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.” Frederick Keonig

“Happy people plan actions, they don’t plan results.” Dennis Waitley

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” Mahatma Gandhi

“What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others.” Confucius

“Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.” Dalai Lama

“Happiness depends upon ourselves.” Aristotle

“The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be.” Marcel Pagnol

“It’s been my experience that you can nearly always enjoy things if you make up your mind firmly that you will.” L.M. Montgomery

“Happiness is acceptance.” Unknown

“The secret of happiness is not in doing what one likes, but in liking what one does.” James M. Barrie

“Most people would rather be certain they’re miserable, than risk being happy.” Dr. Robert Anthony

“The unhappy derive comfort from the misfortunes of others.” Aesop

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity and an understanding of life that fills them with compassions, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

“Happiness is a state of activity.” Aristotle

“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” Confucius

“The two enemies of human happiness are pain and boredom.” Arthur Schopenhauer

“Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.”

Marcus Aurelius Antoninus

“Happy he who learns to bear what he cannot change.” Friedrich Schiller

“The greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances.” Martha Washington

“I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.” Groucho Marx

“Your work is discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it.” Buddha

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Eleanor Roosevelt

“Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature…. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.”  Helen Keller

“Learn to let go. That is the key to happiness.” Buddha

“Enjoy your own life without comparing it with that of another.” Marquis de Condorcet

“The happiest people in the world are those who feel absolutely terrific about themselves, and this is the natural outgrowth of accepting total responsibility for every part of their life.” Brian Tracy

“We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” George Bernard Shaw

“Optimism is a happiness magnet. If you stay positive, good things and good people will be drawn to you.” Mary Lou Retton

bye for now....... x.o.x.o.....