Dealing with haters and petty people

Have you realized, there are many times in life when no matter what you do and or do not do, there will always be someone there to ever ready rain on your parade. They are your haters…  Haters are people who hate! Remember the story of the man, his son /wife and the donkey??

They are jealous of what you are, and what you have become… but they choose to express negativity toward you and your accomplishments in the hope of tearing you down to their level and yes, many a  times, it works, it works when your own confidence level is shaky…. It works when you are slightly doubtful of yourself and then you fall, and that would be their happiest moments….

They will look for all your faults, the smallest mistakes you make, and they will attack, never acknowledging any of your positives. They’re so critical of everything and it doesn’t really matter how you choose to live your life — whether you have your own business or work a corporate job; have children or do not to have children; travel the world or stay in the same all of your life; go to the gym 5 times a week or sit on the couch every night; throw a big party or just a small one — because whatever you do, someone will definitely judge you for it. And sadly.. it is our so called friends and sometimes even relatives and family members… Even celebrities and models have lots of haters…

Gorgeous, confident, modern girls like Tuti from Asia’s Next Top Model and the ever lovely Fazura, gets lots of criticism from haters, but they stand strong and hold their own against all these negativity…

These people are very selfish and petty. Reason being…….

1. You probably have something that they don’t.

Whether is it your new Gucci fragrance, your new car, your new job or your life in general, you have something they don’t — and that upsets them. Because they find out that life is unfair, and that some people can have things or do things in life that others can’t. They probably desire what you have but don’t quite know how they can achieve those things by themselves. And because of that,  they become very angry individuals. To help themselves cope with this sense of frustration, they hate. This is how they deal with their feelings of inadequacy and inferiority after comparing themselves with others.

2. They do not think you deserve it.

When they look at how far ahead you have gotten, your popularity, your friends, etc. Some of them wonder how could you be worthy of these things when they are not…They don’t care about the hard work you had put in behind the scenes — your sacrifices, your thoughts, your aches, your fears and the pains you’d gone through. Because they are just superficial beings.

3. They want to be the one who is one step ahead.

For them life is some kind of competition — who’s more popular, who’s richer, who has more friends, who has more dates, who has the better job  and well, they want to be the one who is one step ahead. Their eagerness to do better than you is not based on their zeal towards life, but stems from their fear of losing to you and being seen as failure in their own eyes. They sort of made you their goal, and the wider the distance between you and them, the more they hate. That’s why your haters never want to hear that you are doing well in anything and it tortures them and kills them to see you standing tall and smiling….

4. They have nothing better to do in life.

Besides stalking other people’s Facebook and Instagram pages, and posting hateful comments on blogs etc, they really don’t have much else to spend their time and energy on. The lowest of them stoop to writing long hate mails. These activities gives these selfish and petty people a momentary sense of purpose and achievement in life. Perhaps your haters don’t even really dislike you that much. They just like hating on other people.

5. They crave attention.

Haters fear silence. They celebrate their own existence when they know that you heard their voice. So never talk back or argue with them. They would only get more excited. Never try to reason with them. Don’t bother as they won’t bother listening. They just need a response to know that someone actually cares about what they think or what they have to say.

6. They are self-righteous, moral high priests.

They consider themselves a much better person compared to you. This is why they will use your past against you, judge and criticize you using their own morals and values, and dismiss any good that you do. They don’t feel the need for humility when talking to you because they believe that they will always be (more) right. But we all know that such beings do make the biggest hypocrites around.

7. They are jealous people.

They are desperate for your downfall because they want you to lose the things you have that they don’t. They see life as a zero-sum game. They think, perhaps if you lose a couple of friends/fans, they could gain some themselves. And , well, if they can’t have the things you have, you should  not have them too!!!

There I have said it… and these are only some… of course, there is still a million and one reasons haters just hate you…or anyone else out there…

So if we know who they are, what should we do??!!

1. IGNORE THEM

Yeah yeah yeah…. Admittedly, it’s easier said than done, but it’s one of the effective ways to deal with haters. You can’t always pay attention to the stupid things people say about you because if you do, then you will find yourself believing the negative things haters say about you.

Haters say things that will do nothing but ruin your day, so with that heads up, be prepared to ignore!

2. TAKE IT WITH A GRAIN OF SALT

Listen to what they have to say, but don’t take it to heart. If these criticism can help you improve, great! Just don’t take the negative emotions connected to their statement to heart.

Consider the words, and if they’re unworthy, ignore it.

3. DON’T RETALIATE

When a hater hates, they hope for a response, otherwise they wouldn’t have made their feelings known. If you retaliate, you’re giving them what they want so don’t even try to think of a witty comeback to embarrass them.

Ignore them, because in the end, haters can always manage to embarrass themselves without any help. If and when you respond to them with nasty or harsh words, it  will only bring you down to their level… and don't become like them!!!! 

4. DON’T APOLOGIZE

If a hater approaches you with negativity, and unnecessary criticism, hoping you can explain yourself, ignore them! Never justify, explain, apologize, or anything of the sort! Let it all flow in one ear and out the other….If they want you to hear them, they need to approach you correctly, sensibly, and respectfully. Hold on to your self-respect and require others to treat you with value and esteem.

5. DON’T TRY TO PLEASE EVERYONE

Remember that whatever you do, someone will hate it. Choose this, people get mad. Choose that, people will still get mad. Don’t bother trying to fit everyone’s preferences.

Face it, in life, we cannot please everyone and not everyone will like you. When you’re walking on eggshells trying to please everyone, it’s impossible to be the best you can be!

Just be yourself and love it! Make things Happen (like the new Maybelline tagline!!!)

7. HATERS GONNA HATE

Haters will hate and there is nothing you can do to change that. It’s their self given occupation. They can’t breathe without negativity, so the best way to deal with that is to keep it in mind, and as long as you are not cheating or hurting others with what you do and you feel good with yourself doing it, just do it….

Whether it’s face-to-face or online, haters will always find something to hate on, so don’t let it ever get you down! 

(pictures all taken from google.com and belong to their original owners and I do not own them.. only using them here for illustrative purposes...)