I have never been fortunate to be truly spoiled by my family members. My life since the day I was born had been filled with strife and I never had anyone who truly dote on me.
My so called father did not like the fact that I was born a girl and when I was three, my parents got divorced and he never gave a s**t whether I was dead or alive after that. I never even got any birthday wish or even a birthday card, let alone a birthday gift from him my entire life....
My mother is a temperamental person, and she brought me up and did give me some love but even more 'disciplining' and she surely did not dote on me...
I am not the drop dear gorgeous type to have boyfriends that dote on me or who will take the time to spoil me unlike some other girls either
My husband loves me, and shows me in his own way but he surely is not exactly a romantic man. He wants me to be independent and allows me to do whatever I want within reason and limit. If he were to give me a gift, he would be giving me something practical like a watch or backpack or something like that... However he does show me by holding my hands, giving be back massages etc...etc... but I cannot help wishing he would be more romantic.....
I know I might sound ungrateful but as a woman, and a person, I can't help wishing I could be the object of affection.. I mean, there are so many dramas and even in real life, you see how lucky some girl / women are who have someone who is willing to go all out for her, lavish her with beautiful things, surprise her with flowers and the things she desires, take her on surprise trips etc...etc..
Example would be like the beautiful actress Fouziah Gous whose husband Zhafran is just what a wonderful husband is like... he proposed to her on a helicopter ride he piloted, gives her surprises and brings her on surprise getaways even if it is only in town...
So this post is about how a husband can be more romantic to the wife...and make her feel appreciated, loved and treasured... I did a research on google so most of the tips come from google naturally... but adapted and edited....
- Brush her hair out of her eyes behind her ear when listening to her. A gentle touch like this goes a long way in making her feel loved.
- Gently rub the back of her neck or shoulders when seated next to her, unless she does not like that.
- Pay her a compliment every once in a while, women are wired to evaluate the state of their relationships on a daily, versus long-term, basis. Pay her a compliment every once in a while by saying something like, “I was just admiring how you (insert something good here, like: keep going after a long day, show such tenderness to our kids, are so tidy in the kitchen, are so good with animals, are so giving of your time, are so organized, balance so many things, stay in such good shape, etc.) with so much on your plate. I think you are amazing!” Or end with, “I love how well you love us.”
- Send a text message during the day – something like any of the following:
- Just thinking about U.
- Thinking about UR lovely face & U made me
(leave out the other body parts – it makes us feel more valuable to not talk about those! Most women also like to be told we are beautiful – and we deeply want to know that we are attractive to YOU) - Are you okay?
- Listening to her is one of the best things a husband can do for his wife, is just listen, focus and be interested in what she is saying, when she need someone to talk to, whether she has to share good news, bad news, what is stressing her out, or anything else.
- Make time for your wife , and invite her, only her out for an occasional date night or even a surprise getaway ...and make these dates interesting, unique and fun. Do not always do just a dinner and a movie. Know the type of places she likes, the restaurant and food she likes, things she likes to do on a date. If you are not sure, ask her. This helps plan your dates well. Say something like, “You are the most stunning woman in the room tonight.
- Tell her about your day, the good things, the bad things, women love details and like it when their husbands share their thoughts with them. Ask her about her day, share your dreams, possible things you want to do and accomplish, dreams for both of your future, the things you hate about politics or anything else.
- Surprise her when she least expect it- Do not only wait for special occasions like her birthday, anniversary, Valentines’ Day, Christmas to do something wonderful for her. You can bring home flowers or have it delivered to her, call her for no reason at all, make a good breakfast for her, show up with lunch at her workplace, prepare candle lit dinner, remember specific detailed information about the dates you had or specific things about herself or her family or anything, that she would not think you would remember.
- Kiss her in public, if she is okay with that. If she’s not, just put your arm around her waist. Chances are she will love others knowing she is loved.
- Hug her for no reason and with no motive every day. If you only touch her when you want sex, she will feel used and insignificant to you. When she feels like your treasure, she will be delighted more often, and work harder on her end of the relationship and her responsibilities. She will also trust you more, which means she will be less inhibited in the bedroom.
- Meet her after work somewhere for an inexpensive dinner once a week or even make dinner once a week (more if you enjoy doing it)
- Open doors for her. Take notice when she has her arms full and say, “Here, let me get this for you!”
- Apologize and say I’m sorry if and when you hurt her without explaining why you did it or why it is her fault.
- Hold her whenever she is feeling down, depressed and when she cries.
- Let her know verbally that she is any one of these things to you: precious, a treasure, special, important, a gift, the best…
- Gently but firmly stand up for her with your kids. Don’t criticize her in front of the kids – it undermines her authority and makes her feel bad especially when you take your kids side against her.
- Ask her for her opinion – and really consider it, especially when it comes to relationships and kids. She sees, hears, and picks up on subtle cues more than you do – if you are both average male and female, so says the research.
- Pick her up off her feet and swing her around once in a while.
- Take care of yourself physically by staying in (or getting in) shape, and seeing the doctor. Eat whatever medication is necessary. She worries about your health.
- Bring her chicken soup if she’s sick, any woman will feel blessed when they have a husband who dotes on her when she is feeling extremely lousy and unwell. Better yet, take the day off if you can to let her sleep and you take care of her and the kids.
Looking at the list, yes, I must admit my husband does maybe 4-5 of the above and I would dearly love it if we could do more..
Being married for the second time, I must say my second and current husband is definitely an improvement from my first, but I really wish there was more that we could share and do together.
I have heard a few friends complaining on how they feel that they are just being treated like a sex object or a free maid or is it a cheap maid at home... This happens after many years of marriage and romance has died off.. husbands expect their wives to just be there to slake their lust, clean the house and keep the household in order....
Then I also heard a couple of friends who are blessed to have wonderful men who spoil them with gifts, surprises and lots of TLC, guess which of these women / wives are the happier ones???
When I say gifts, please be reminded I mean whatever little things you can afford, not... diamonds and pearls... it can chocolates, flowers, whatever you know your wife enjoys or like...to your discretion, even just a single flower can go a long way, unless your wife is allergic to flowers... hehehe
Any woman would love to be able to be spoiled, and feel loved by her spouse and he would be the most important person in her life. If she has been sticking by you all these while, won't you even try to make her more appreciated and loved so that she feels it's been worth all the bumpy rides she has been with you throughout the months or years...
That's all the things I want to say for now.. bye for now and I hope there are husbands out there, mine included who can take a hint and make their marriage life a little bit more of a bed of roses... after all, a happy wife is much better then a sad wife right..... unless you want to get rid of your wife... hahaha...
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